The theater I work at is really far away. Like 20+ miles away. That makes for some long driving and lots of gas. Lately though I have been driving the food truck from the catering company that employs me to Mt Adams which has saved a significant amount of gas per week. $30 to be exact. The other day that I don’t drive I have started riding with the guy who does. He’s an older mostly retired gentleman that has some awesome life stories. We talk about all sorts of things. Last night he was asking me some very specific questions about my life and I answered all of them. Some of the answers were disappointing, others were exciting, and the rest were sad. After I answered one particularly sad question he gave me one of the most meaningful compliments of my life. He said, “I like your positivity. That is one of the very first things I noticed about you. No matter what you are talking about, even shitty stuff, you always end whatever it is with what positiveness came out of it.”
Isn’t that an awesome compliment?!
I didn’t use to be positive. I could have changed my name to Debbie Downer there for a while. My glass was always half full and if it happened to be completely full I would purposely knock it over so I would have something to complain about. That’s why I sometimes go quiet here and in my real life. Sometimes things are really stormy and I’m trying to find the rainbow but I just can’t at that moment so I stay quiet. I’ve decided to look harder to find that rainbow even if I have to make it my damn self.
In other news, Monday and Tuesday were rough this week. Even though I got up early both of those days I didn’t make goal on either of them. I was so damn tired! I slept most of Monday and even decided to skip yoga because my body was just drained. Yesterday I had my small group and when I got home I was empty. I slept most of the afternoon and fell asleep easily when I got home. After evaluating both of those days I realized I made a few changes that didn’t seem to be doing me justice so I went back to what I was doing before today and feel much better.
I also started a new audio book: You Are Not Your Brain: The 4-Step Solution for Changing Bad Habits, Ending Unhealthy Thinking, and Taking Control of Your Life by Jeffrey Schwartz. This one is a little tougher to listen to because this audio recording doesn’t pause very long after punctuation so it feels like one giant run-on sentence that never seems to ends so you aren’t sure when you are supposed to pause and think about what they are saying because it just goes on and on and on and on so you have to actually pause the recording to get a thought it. Phew! Can you see what it is a little stressful? Anyway, the book is talks about the deceptive messages your brain sends you. Things like no one likes you, you aren’t good enough, or you just have to eat that entire bag of cookies. It is about rewiring your thinking to reach a healthier way of living. Instead of barely being conscious of the fact that you drove to the store to mac’n’cheese and ice-cream which you came home and ate with barely a thought you think and choose differently. I’ve just barely started so I don’t know a whole lot about it yet. I’m trying to work past the giant run on sentences and hearing the information for what it is. Wish me luck!
Oh and I added a page for talking about what I’ve done and am planning on doing in 2014. I have quite a bit to add but will get there…eventually. Check it out for now!